-I wanted to punch myself in the face.
I don't know what's more awkward: having to listen to the talk, or watching the person squirm as they give it?
Who gave you your talk? For me, it was my high school health teacher. He spent about 20 min showing us pictures of STDs, then moved on to the benefits of abstinence, all while trying desperately to not make eye contact.
Needless to say, my experience was lame. Maybe your's was better. But here's what I know: purity "talks" do not work! I stand by that statement too. When did "talking" about anything ever work? I'm almost 30 years old, and to this day, "talking" does very little for me. The church realizes this, or at least it should.
Any given Youth Pastor would tell you that it takes [coming along side] our students, to make a difference. But the irony, is that we spend sooo much time on behavior modification. We tell you week in and week out what NOT to do. Sure we have small groups and adults who connect but when it comes to the "tough stuff," are we really coming along side? I would have to argue... no!
Nationally, 60% of girls in Youth Groups are sexually active. If 60% of girls are sexually active then we know that at least 60% of boys are active too. If you're like me and you remotely care about the next generation... you'd be freaking out right now. 60%!? How??
We're doing everything right.... right? We give our annual purity sermons, hand outs, and retreats. We share the shocking statistics of teen pregnancy and STDs. So what's the problem?
The problem is you cannot modify sexual behavior! You can't scare teenagers out of having sex. You might get a few that way, but more often then not, it wont work.
Here's the solution:
This past year my wife hosted an incredibly effective girls small group. It was called PINC.
It was an opportunity to come along side some girls. With solid curriculum: my wife taught, loved, and showed concern for some young women. She didn't waste time telling them NOT to have sex before marriage. She spent time investing in their success.
If we focused less on modifying behavior and really dug in deep on investing, we could see that 60% drop.
I believe its time we stopped talking about changing the next generation and actually get dirty.
1. Small Groups
2. Love
3. Concern
4. Investment
-This will change the discussion on purity. It will go from being a punch line to a serious part of discipleship.
* Great small group curriculum resource: http://www.pincministries.com/
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